неделя, 31 май 2009 г.

Even shadows have shadows

I stand alone, burned every bridge over the troubled water. I'm no longer hiding from my personality disorder. A stronger tide is coming. I've been running, trying to function fine with out my mind climbing out this fucking corner.
I was born a thorn, away from the rotten petals... A forgotten rebel... craft in the absence of heaven's heavy hands to develop an evident level of benevolence. So it's probably better I sold my soul to the devil. This is a message to anyone I met that thinks they know me:
"Don't pretend to understand none of the issues that I'm holding!"
I was in a rush to grow up. Look, Mom, no cuts! Just a stomach in disgust and the fear that I might go nuts this year. If I don't slow up I'll see you on my way. One day this shit'll kill me but I guess that it's OK...
I've lost all faith in a world so full of hate and I don't fucking love music - I just use it to escape.
I'm caught between wanting to punch someone in the face and putting a bullet in my head to leave the human race. Everything takes its toll but there's no tolls I can take. I haven't yet found a good reason to be awake. Introducing the corroded bumps I hide behind my smile. I'm angry at the universe for the way she treats me now... and keeps me down, stealing all my energy... I'm feeling like my enemy, concealing my identity, not dealing with my tendencies, I peel the skin and then I squeeze the real imprinted hand cause he's not human in this century. I'm kneeling to the entity. Who built this penitentiar as filthy as a centipede? And guilt was in his sense cause he was willing to just let me bleed while I wore a game face. In 10 years don't check for me -I'll be in the same place. This planet's just an over-populated mental hospital: each zombie walk around constitutes another obstacle.
So here it is, I'm finally coming out my shell. All 19 years of my life have been in conflict with myself. I'm insecure by every facet of my existence: from my addictions to the condition I choose to live in. Who you kidding? I suffer from excess anxiety, a product of pollution in American society. Stare into my eyes and see the hell that burns inside my mind and I no longer have an ego I can hide behind.
But I've been trying disregarding my insanity. Every form of art isolates us from humanity. But it's provoked against being force fed... so FUCK education for a decade and 3 years of headaches from my peers. Cause now I realize I could have learned more on my own. They taught me how to know everything except my soul which is everything I need to grow, everything that keeps me whole, everything that ever meant anything to me. So I leave with golden hopes to rip the leash that holds my focus... but the fact remains the same: I'm still bound by chains. It doesn't matter if your chain is 10 ft or 100 ft - the fact remains the same: you're still bound by chains. Some people say I've changed and it's harder to relate to me. Good. I never liked you - our friendship was make believe. I'm peeling the mask back and revealing the rap that's been feeling my organs, drilling short distorted portions of morbid acid, keeps the torture unfortunately crafted, interests to orbit my portrait and inflict my image with disorder. The minutes get shorter, the walls start to close in... Feels like the brain is hanging on by one clothes pin. I've hidden in the darkness for too long. I make it look all right but on the inside it's all wrong. I want life to change but I don't know if it can for a man or machine or whatever the fuck I am.
I stand alone burned every bridge over the trouble water... no longer hiding from my personality disorder. You want to die in my life? Then come and stay in madness' favorite little corner!
Cause even shadows have shadows... and my secrets are eating me eagerly feeding. I scream in my dreams away but they keep on defeating me...
Even Shadows have Shadows... Welcome to the dusty subconscious of an actor who murdered his childhood to stop the audience's laughter.
Even Shadows have Shadows... How am I to break free from my fears when I don't like what I see and I can't feel what I hear?
Even Shadows have Shadows... So don't judge my book by it's cover cause my story's just fucked up as any other!

By Eyedea.

Biiiiig up for the mindblowing lyrics he wrote when he was JUST 19! Some day I might even translate it. Just to see if it sounds that nice in BG.

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